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That will include using their children to get to you. Endless promises, threats, and blame will follow any interruption in the cash flow.You want to believe the promises, you succumb to the threats, or you cave in to the guilt that the blaming dredges up, no matter how real or ridiculous. So how do you go about doing what you know is right when everything seems stacked against you?Make arrangements or contact Child Protection or both. Second, they can clean up if they are sufficiently motivated and the treatment mode is carefully chosen. Third, it really is okay to save yourself and the rest of your family. Remember that you don’t have to stay stuck in the insanity of the addicted child’s world.An almost universally overlooked aspect of the relationship of older parents to adult addicted children is that the financial support actually rewards the child for their self-destructive choices and behaviors while penalizing the parents, other children, and grandchildren. You can stay clear and not be sucked down in all of the usual “powerlessness” and “disease” model ad copy that only serves to perpetuate and justify addiction-based exploitation.Harris indicated that there was a "lack of freeness between men and women in cultivating friendships." He also used the words "standoffish" and "tightness." In the message, Harris also indicated that it was "OK" for single men and women to go out for coffee by themselves, apparently correcting misconceptions some singles had in his church.Christian psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend suggest that avoiding dating in order to avoid suffering, as Harris advises, causes those who do so to forgo opportunities to mature, especially through learning how to create healthy boundaries.This is the lever that every active drunk and junkie – and many “recovering” ones as well – use to control everyone around them: “It isn’t my fault and if you don’t give me the money I’ll die.” The trouble is that drug and alcohol abuse, dependence, and addiction, aren’t really diseases, they’re choices – choices the alcoholic and addict made and continue to make.
He feels that people date to find "their" mate according to their own principles, rules, and desires.As parents you capitulate even as you destroy your own fragile financial security.You hand over cash, even though you know it’s useless, often wondering if your child’s problem is something you caused.You may not be able to keep a son or daughter from destroying themselves, but you and the rest of your family don’t have to go with them.
Finally, it’s good to get competent help in this process.
When you change how you deal with your adult children they too are forced to change.